Tofeud
by GoldenRoseBush
Summary: Cyborg and BB argue about BB's tofu. The argument turns into a somewhat fierce competition. Two- shot story. COMPLETE.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yay for a two- shot. Probably didn't do as good a job on this as I did with Slade's Auction. But anyway, NO MEANIE WEENIE FLAMIES in the reviews please, and enjoy!  
**

**DISCLAIMER: This was written for fun, not profit. Credit goes to DC and Warner Bros for Teen Titans.  
**

* * *

Cyborg winced in disgust as he watched Beast Boy devour the vile, spongy white mush coated in barbecue sauce. Beast Boy noticed Cyborg staring at him."What?"

"Man," Cyborg said."I just don't understand how you can eat that stuff! It looks sickening! While that stuff may be good health food, you do NOT need it!"

Beast Boy frowned, offended, as the half- robot continued," I mean, c'mon! Tofu eggs, soy milk, tofu bacon, tofu hot dogs, tofu burgers! Tofu this and tofu that! Tofu tofu tofu!"

"Yeah?" Beast Boy snapped."Well, I thought you understood and respected my reasons for not eating meat!"

"Yeah, yeah. The whole animal thing. But even some animals are carnivores! I mean, since when do you see a LION or a SHARK eating tofu and other foods made out of soy beans?!"

"Ever since there's a dude in town named Beast Boy who likes tofu and will eat it in any animal form. And about what you said earlier: what do you mean I don't 'need' it? I know I don't need it. I'm not shoving the stuff down my own throat. I actually want - I DESIRE- tofu! And if it'll keep me from eating the animals I've transformed into, it's worth eating! It's a good substitute for meat!"

Cyborg clenched his teeth in frustration. He was usually cool and yes, _respectful_ when it came to BB's passion for tofu, but ever since the grass stain had been trying to convert everyone else ( most of all, him and Raven) into tofu consumers, it was a bit annoying."Well, maybe I'd leave you alone about it if you'd stop trying to convert us into little... little.. STICKS!"

Beast Boy gasped, stood up from his chair, and smacked his hands onto the counter."I am _not_ a stick! I have shape! I have muscle!"

"Really?" Cyborg said sarcastically."Where is it?"

"I know that I have it! It's just... just.. it's hiding!"

Cyborg blew out a breath in exasperation as he said,"What I meant by not gaining any muscle is that you can't use tofu to put on any real lean muscle. That's what REAL meat is for! Tofu lacks the protein to build muscle!"

"No, it doesn't! I have muscle! Just look. I'll prove you wrong!" Beast Boy rolled up the sleeve of his suit and flexed his arm. Only a little bit of muscle the size of a pebble bulged upward, causing Cyborg to laugh,"More like you've proven me right!"

Then the half- robot, after his short (though not as short as BB's muscle) fit of laughter, said,"Now anyway, yeah. Meat has the protein and good stuff for muscle. Maybe if you JUST tried a teeny tiny slab of steak you would change your views? Not that you'd abandon your perpetual tofu diet or anythin'. But just eat enough meat to gain some muscle? And besides-" he paused, raising his one human eyebrow and chuckled."Don't ya wanna impress Raven? I see how you act around the girl. Robin and Star are already an item. 'Bout time you get your lady?"

"Dude! I never said anything about wanting to be a buff guy to impress some girl! And besides, I've got pointy ears that I know ladies find adorable! Why are you bashing me for eating tofu? You got something against... against TOFU EATERS?"

"Um, I suggested that you could do that to possibly get Raven interested in going out with you. Just dating advice-"

"Raven is not my date-"

"And I barely saw any girls tweakin' your ears and squealin' 'bout how adorable they are ( except for the girls in Tokyo that were all ink blobs in disguise), so chill! And I'm bashing you because, like I mentioned before, you've been practically rubbing tofu in our faces for two weeks!"

"Look I'm trying to get over all that girlfriend business!"

"So you've been drowning your sorrows in tofu?" Cyborg droned sarcastically.

"..."

"Yeah, exactly. Silence I receive as an answer."

"... You're a jerk!" Beast Boy screeched, then dashed over to the refrigerator, leaving his plate of half- eaten tofu sitting on the counter. He opened the fridge and took out all eight bottles of Cyborg's-

"NO!" Cyborg barked."NOT MY SPECIAL BBQ SAUCE!"

"Muahahaha!" Beast Boy laughed maniacally as he whipped out eight blocks of tofu and slammed the fridge door shut. The moment BB turned into an octopus, placed the tofu on the counter, and used each tentacle to hold each bottle of barbecue sauce above each tofu cube, Cyborg knew what was happening. With a mighty roar, he lunged over the counter and tackled the octopus yelling,"Don't ya DARE use my BBQ sauce on your cruddy tofu!It's for adding flavor to steak, not-"

Beast Boy had made a change of plans and squirted some sauce at Cyborg. Some of the sauce splattered on the floor."AAAAAAAHHH!" Cyborg screamed in a high- pitched, girly tone as he was assaulted by the thick, reddish-brown liquid. The kitchen floor was now coated with barbecue sauce."That's it!" Cyborg cried, reaching a plate of tofu on the counter."Here!" he yelled, dumping it on the writhing octopus."Ya like tofu that much? Okay then, grass stain!"

"STOP!" they turned to see Robin storm over to the counter, his face a ketchup- red hue."Just look at the mess you've made! Break up this stupid childish fight of yours! And clean up this kitchen! When I come back I want to see it completely SPOTLESS!"

"Sure thing, mom," Cyborg muttered as Robin stomped away.

* * *

Cyborg smirked as he stalked into the darkened kitchen. When he and Beast Boy had been cleaning the place up they hadn't said another word to each other. But that didn't mean everything between them was cool. The competition was on. He was going to make BB pay for managing to waste all his precious BBQ sauce. Revenge was in order. Right now it was ten o' clock at night so the others, more importantly Beast Boy, were in bed.

Cyborg flicked on the lights and opened the refrigerator. He was holding an empty trash bag, which he filled with all the tofu in the fridge. When the bag was full and the fridge therefore tofu- less, he took it and went up to the roof of the tower. He used his built- in tech to produce a small rocket- missile, which he tied the bag to. Igniting a match he had taken with him, Cyborg lit the rocket and released it. He watched as it shot off into the dark, unknown... destined to explode eventually."Booyah," Cyborg said ( in a lowered voice! Since the others were sleeping..) victoriously, pumping a metal fist in the air.

As he went back into the tower and entered his bedroom, he thought of what he did._ Man... should I have done that? I just hope the little dude doesn't burst into tears when he discovers his food is missing tomorrow morning..._

He mentally shooed these thoughts away, laid on his charging table, and fell asleep.

* * *

"CYBORG!"

The half- robot Titan woke up and saw Beast Boy looming over him. Rubbing his head sleepily, and his mind still clearing itself of the cloudy after- effects of sleep Cyborg mumbled,"Mmm.. yeah, what do you wa- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM? Ya better not have been messing with my computer again! Get out!"

"Gee, Raven much? No, I have not been messing with your computer. I'm not leaving until I get answers!"

"Answers to what?!"

"Don't play dumb with me, Cy! Where- is- my- tofu?!"

"I did the right thing for all of the other Titans in this tower and disposed of it! Now _get out!_"

"It's not in the trash! I searched and found nothing. None of the other Titans wanted to help me out."

"Well it's no wonder why the others wouldn't help..." Cyborg muttered." Let's just say I sent that soy junk into orbit!"

Beast Boy backed towards the door, shooting Cyborg a death glare (or at least, what was supposed to be one)."Oohhh, so that's how far you'd go to get under your poor best friend's green skin?! This is war, huh? Well, guess what, general! It's on!"

And with that he ran out of the room and down the hall.

* * *

"Hey, Beast Boy. Where are you going?" Robin asked as he sat on the curved black sofa in the common room and watched his green friend run towards the door.

"To the market!" Beast Boy answered."If Cy's planning on ruining my eating routine, I'm planning on ruining his entire day!"

"What the-! Beast Boy! What are you talk-"

The changeling had already burst out the door. Robin smacked the palm of his hand against his face ( or facepalmed), already knowing this had something to do with yesterday's episode. Ten minutes later, Cyborg approached the door, car keys in one hand."Lemme guess," Robin sighed."Market?"

Cyborg gaped at him."How did you-?"

"Beast Boy said he was going there, too! This, I assume, has everything to do with yesterday?"

"Well...yeah.." Cyborg, the human half of his face red with embarrassment, slipped out the door. Robin slapped the palm of his hand against his face again."Why do I bother..."

* * *

Beast Boy had already flown to the market for "groceries" and currently was looking for the tofu aisle, which he could not seem to find."C'mon," he whined."There was tofu here the last time I came to buy some! Where is it?"

He was starting to believe he would never find it until an _angel _( a random employee) came into view. Beast Boy dashed over to the goth- style employee, his green eyes sparkling with hope."Excuse me, could you show me where the tofu aisle is? I've been here buying that stuff before but I can't seem to find it today!"

The black- haired employee nodded, his expression one of pure boredom that said "I hate my job", and led Beast Boy to the tofu aisle. When the green Titan arrived, he salivated at the heavenly sight of the perfectly- cubed fake meat and ran to grab a nearby shopping cart some careless idiot had left behind ( he felt it was okay to take it, since the previous user of the cart had probably left the market and hadn't bothered to put it away). He immediately began to load the cart full of tofu. When he was done, the aisle was completely devoid of the meat substitute. Beast Boy chuckled playfully as he pushed his carriage on the way to the check- out counter.

Man, would Cyborg blow a fuse ( maybe literally) the next time he checked the fridge!

* * *

Cyborg was returning from the meat department, his burly, metallic arms carrying a whole bunch of packages of raw steaks and some bottles of his favorite BBQ sauce. He had left his shopping cart not too far from the meat department, near some aisle ( he couldn't remember what since he didn't look). He arrived at where the carriage was... _or should've been!_"What the-! WHERE'S MY CART?" he roared, startling a few bystanders."Oops.." he murmured when he realized the impression he could be making on these people."Sorry, folks.."

He just had too much on his shoulders today.

Then he noticed a few green hairs on the floor, where his cart had been. "Oh, so that's what happened! Why! That- little- green-!" he grit his teeth against the tirade the longed to escape his mouth. He sighed when he realized fellow customers were still shooting wary glances his way."I may as well get a new cart.." he stormed off, his arms still occupied by the barbecue sauce and meat.

* * *

Beast Boy stepped outside into the parking lot. The tofu in his carriage were now in plastic bags."Oh, man!" he complained."I won't be able to carry all of this home at once!"

He sighed, his arms hanging loosely by his sides. Then he recognized the tall red- haired, green- eyed young woman exiting the shop. He smiled; again he found hope."Hey, Star! Over here!"

The alien girl spotted him and squealed jubilantly."Greetings, Friend Beast Boy!"

"Yeah, hi! Uh, would you mind helping me out?" he asked, gesturing to his carriage."I need you to help me carry this cart!"

"Yes," Starfire said, hugging her three purchased bottles of mustard close to her stomach."I would love to help!"

Just as she was about to grab the cart, Cyborg too exited the the shop with a monstrous expression on his face. He rolled his new cart full of steak and sauce over to Beast Boy and Starfire, who had let go of BB's cart to greet Cyborg but decided not to as the furious Titan began to yell,"How DARE ya! Stealin' from your friend! Takin' my cart, makin' me make a fool of myself in public!"

He locked his thick metal hands onto the front bars of the tofu- filled carriage."This was mine!" he cried. The cart rattled and its wheels turned in weird angles as Cyborg bounced it madly, yelling,"MINE! Mine, mine, mine! And ya stole it from me when I wasn't lookin'!"

("And I thought women were the only ones that went crazy during shopping sprees.." a random male bystander commented as he loaded the trunk of his car with groceries.)

A confused Starfire watched as an argument broke out between Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Watch it, Cy! You're knocking all the tofu out!"

"GOOD!"

"Friends!" Starfire cut in."You must not quarrel so!"

They were interrupted when they heard a blast. Screaming customers and employees dashed out of the store and they saw a familiar, small figure stalk out of the building. The figure had six long, robotic legs attached to his back, the length of them causing him to hang about three yards above the concrete floor of the parking lot. So Gizmo had been shopping too, only he hadn't paid for the merchandise he took.

"Umm.." Cyborg scratched his head."How did I NOT see him in there before?!"

Strapped to part of Gizmo's suit were a bag of hot dog buns, hot dogs, mustard ( "How could he not pay for such a lovely delicacy!" Starfire squealed in horror) , and ketchup. He turned his bald head in the trio's direction."Oh, hi, Teen Turkeys! Where are the two _bird- brains _of the team? Too stinkin' lazy to help their friends?"

"Dude!" Beast Boy complained, paying little heed to the miniature villain's insults."We were in the middle of part of our competition! Of all things to happen, why theft happening in the very store we bought our stuff?!"

"I have competition too, snot- brain!" Gizmo screeched in his high-pitched voice."Hot dog eating contest with that barf- crunching giant Mammoth who thinks he's better than me!"

"HA!" Cyborg snickered."Hot dog eating contest? You don't even look like you can fit one hot dog in ya! In that sense, Mammoth is better than ya!"

Gizmo snarled and used the laser cannon built into his tech to blast the jeering Titan.

"Rrrrgh!" Cyborg growled in irritation as he heaved himself off the ground."Teen Titans, go!"

Starfire's eyes glowed green- as did her hands- as she flew towards Gizmo, firing star bolts. Beast Boy morphed into a rhino and tried using his horn to disjoint Gizmo's robotic legs. Cyborg readied his sonic cannon and tried to blast the boy- genius.

* * *

**So yeah, I'll leave it there for now. What happened in the fight will be explained next chapter. I originally planned for this whole thing to be meshed into a oneshot but decided with all the line breaks it would be confusing and kinda long. Also I'm planning on marking this story as part of the friendship genre because of next chapter.. **


	2. Chapter 2

**So, this chapter will be a little parody- ish in nature and maybe not as funny as the first. But here it is!**

* * *

_After the battle..._

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Cyborg sighed, trying to reason with a ranting Robin. Ever since the battle had ended, the leader had been slightly upset."We were outnumbered! We probably would've won if you and Raven had arrived on time!"

"We were on our way!"

"Robin.." Starfire squeaked, shrinking in her seat ( they were all sitting in the common room). "Please stop yelling at them. They have received enough of the beating up from the H.I.V.E Five."

_When Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Starfire had been battling Gizmo, the rest of the H.I.V.E Five had arrived to reinforce him. Starfire took on See- More and Private HIVE; Beast Boy took on Kyd Wykkyd and Billy Numerous, and Cyborg - of course - took on Gizmo. Starfire had wrecked Private HIVE's motorbike with her star bolts and tried to blow up See- more's "eyeball" weapons that he shot at her in an attempt to trap her. Each ball had exploded into blue or pink pieces as she fired._

_Mammoth had taken the opportunity to run into the store, possibly stocking up on hot dogs. Probably chowing down on some, too._

_Beast Boy had morphed into a bull and charged at Kyd Wykkyd in hopes of bowling him over and knocking him out, but the dark- garbed villain was swift in his every move and dodged him, teleporting from here to there. Little had Beast Boy known that Kyd was merely distracting him, giving Billy Numerous just enough time to multiply himself and overwhelm BB._

_Cyborg had climbed up one of Gizmo's robotic legs and disabled them by destroying his tech pack. The legs had fallen to the ground, useless, as did Gizmo. Only except Gizmo had smuggled a detonator into one of the pockets on his suit so that when Cyborg grabbed him before he could run away, the nasty boy grinned smugly at him and threw the weapon on the ground, slightly demolishing the parking lot and blowing his opponent into the store. Gizmo, miraculously unharmed ( probably a new feature in his suit that allowed his weapons not to backfire or harm him also), escaped by running behind a car and waiting for his teammates to finish off the others._

_Private HIVE had used his flying shield that acted as a boomerang to knock Starfire out of the air. As she fell, See- more grasped the opportunity to trap her in an eyeball bubble._

_Billy Numerous already had multiplied himself into probably sixty clones and piled himself onto BB, who had morphed into the largest form the changeling could manage: T- Rex. But the clones were too much. The pressure bore down on him, forcing him to the ground._

_Then Robin and Raven arrived. Robin used his staff to smash into the eyeball bubble, popping it and saving his girlfriend. Then he pried away all the Billy clones with his staff, while Raven and Starfire used their powers to blast them off, uncovering Beast Boy, who had reverted to his human form._

_Cyborg had recovered from the impact of the detonator's explosion and ran out of the building._

_But while the Titans had regrouped, the villains had as well. Kyd Wykkyd opened a portal and all members of the H.I.V.E Five went through it before the Titans could stop them._

_So the Titans returned to the tower in a gloomy mood, Robin and Raven riding in Cyborg's car, which had its trunk packed with steak and barbecue sauce. Beast Boy, in the form of a hawk, flew alongside Starfire, who carried his tofu- filled cart and returned the trolley to the market once the green Titan put all the tofu into the fridge._

_Yes, the competition was still on._

Robin heard his girlfriend's words and took a deep breath."Right. Guess I'm overreacting a bit. But, you two should be more careful! Blowing all your money on that stuff just because of this competition thing!"

Starfire smiled softly, rose from her seat, and held Robin's hand as they both exited the common room.

"Don't think that I've forgotten our competition, grass stain!" Cyborg growled, looking BB in the eye.

"It's still on, Chrome Dome!" Beast Boy replied in a tough- guy tone, attempting to crack his knuckles in a manly fashion.

* * *

Deeply disappointed by his defeat at the market, Cyborg knew it had something to do with his mind stuck on competition. So he stayed up all night in the garage working on something the others didn't know about. They had just assumed he stayed up late to wax and install more features on the T- Car. But when he dragged all his teammates ( except for Beast Boy who, thankfully, was sleeping) to the garage in the morning, they began wondering if he had invented a new crime- fighting device."Nope, but close!" Cyborg grinned. He had covered his invention with a giant gray cloth. Judging by the mystery invention's shape and size, it had to be a vehicle. Raven sighed; she already sensed this would be the same dramatic introduction Cyborg would pull every time he'd present a new invention to the team. As Cyborg brought all attention to the mystery invention, he spoke to Robin."Ya sick of me and BB fightin' over one another's eatin', right? Wouldn't it be better if we ended this fight the way we want to just so there will be peace for you and the others? Well, here's what you've been waitin' for!"

Robin raised an eyebrow from behind his mask as Cyborg continued,"Ladies and gentleman ( since Robin's the only guy other than me in this room right now)! I present to you my coolest, hottest creation! The new, the one- and- only-"

He pulled the cloth away majestically."T- DOZER!"

It looked like a somewhat small bulldozer, only it wasn't yellow. It had the same titanium pattern that was on the T- Car. "Uh..." Robin began awkwardly, running a hand through his spiked, black hair."That's great, Cyborg. But why would we need this?"

"TO DISPOSE OF BB'S NASTY WASTY ICKY WICKY TOFU!" Cyborg screamed insanely, spit flying from his mouth and his brow twitched."DON'T question why we need this. WE NEED IT!"

Robin held his hands up in front of him as if to protect himself from the crazy teen robot's rant. Worry was evident in his voice as he spoke,"Cyborg, maybe you should calm down and get some rest. You've been up almost all night! All this work and stress could be getting to your head."

"No way, boss! BB is goin' dooown!"

"What does this thing-" Raven asked, gesturing to the machine."- Have to do with getting rid of tofu?"

"Today, me and BB are gonna get ourselves some waterhoses. I fill mine with barbecue sauce while BB fills his with soy milk. Then a showdown will begin on the top of the tower. Innocent sauce and guilty soy milk shall be spilled!"

"If you're using only barbecue sauce in this, why did you purchase so much meat?"

"To celebrate my victory after the battle!"

"Why did you not simply just attach the plow to the front of the T- Car?"

"'Cause I'm not bringin' my baby out in that mess! She might get rusty, and all that crud might get stuck in her tires and engine!"

"How will you even get a vehicle on the roof in the first place?"

"HA! I'll just use the hover panels installed in the T- Dozer's wheels to levitate it to the top. And I know the roof is very sturdy and can handle the weight of a vehicle on it!"

"Oh, no!" Robin yelled, a vein in his forehead pulsing."NO, NO, NO!"

He ran up to Cyborg and bellowed,"You're not causing any more damage to this establishment! You may have built this tower and think you can tear it down yourself, but I'M the leader! Messing up the kitchen is one thing, but the roof-"

"Fine!" Cyborg said as he grabbed Robin and Raven both by the capes and tied them to a random slab of metal that was laying against a wall."Then you can wait till we're done!"

"Cyborg!"

"_Don't interfere!_"

Starfire gasped, putting a hand over her open mouth."Cyborg, why are you doing this?"

"'CAUSE it's necessary!"

"No, it is not!" Robin hollered.

Raven sighed simply and a hummed a boring, monotonous tune and deciding not to "interfere". Normally she would have blasted Cyborg sky- high for tying her up, but this was ridiculous and she didn't want to be here right now, so she tried to ignore everything. Especially this argument. Craziness might be contagious, after all. Robin seemed to have caught the disease.

Cyborg set up numerous posters. Some read:

"**TOFU? MORE LIKE TO- POO!**"

"**Vote for NO-fu!"**

**"Tofu stinks!"**

**"I'M THROUGH WITH THE FU!"**

Starfire observed the posters."Cyborg, this is interesting, but could you please release Robin and Raven?"

"If ya want me to, you have to let this competition take its course! Please, Star?"

She was forced to look at Cyborg, whose one human eye had a sad- puppy look. She sighed; how could she say "no" to that look? "Very well, friend. But _promise_!"

"I promise!"

Suddenly, Beast Boy burst into the garage. His green eyes fell upon Cyborg's posters. Seemingly out of nowhere, BB brought out some of his own posters that read the cheesiest, hastily- thought-out lines such as:

**"NO MEAT!"**

**"MEAT SMELLS LIKE FEET!"**

**"MEAT, MEET DEFEAT!"**

**"THE STEAKS ARE HIGH! LET'S LOWER THEM!"**

Cyborg's mouth formed a perfect "o" shape as he gaped. "Meat does NOT smell like feet!" he yelled.

"Yeah? Well, tofu is NOT To- poo!"

Then they both turned to Starfire and the rope- bound duo of Robin and Raven against the big, metal slab ( it was amazing that Raven hadn't already blown the fighting friends to bits). "C'mon, guys! Tofu is not that bad!"

"No way! Steak is better for you!"

"Join my campaign to end meat's tyrannical reign over this tower!"

"_What?_ Tofu is the real 'edible' tyrant here!"

They began to quote the lines they had written on their posters.

"_Vote for nofu!"_

_"MEAT, MEET DEFEAT!"_

Robin sighed, resting his spiky head against the back of the metal plank."I would launch a campaign to _end_ their campaigns."

"I'd probably join in a heartbeat," Raven concurred while Starfire simply said,"Agreed, Robin."

* * *

After six _agonizing _minutes of campaigning, Cyborg dragged the plank to which Robin and Raven were bound up to the roof of the tower while Starfire followed. On both far sides of the roof- left and right- was a huge tank with a long water hose attached to each one.

"You know," Raven commented,"what is the point of dousing each other in harmless edible liquids? If it was a strong acid meant to harm and burn and eat away at things, that would kinda make sense. What does the winner earn? Just the simple right to keep their food while the loser doesn't get to keep his?"

"Yeah," Cy and BB said in unison, then glared at each other when they realized they- two angry "enemies"- said the same thing at once.

The tanks the hoses were connected to were full to the brim with the liquid contents; Cyborg grabbed his water hose and Beast Boy did likewise. They viciously stared each other down, waiting to strike. "I hope you're prepared to be a loser, broccoli head!" Cyborg growled at Beast Boy.

"Not on your power cell, Chrome Dome!" BB challenged, aiming his water hose at the teen robot.

"Now for what we've been waiting for; will the aroma of a nice, grilled- to- perfection steak ribs pleasantly permeate the air of Titans Tower?" Cyborg almost sang dramatically."Or will we forever be at the mercy of the mashed cubes of pure evil that, in no way, can possibly beat the tasty goodness of PORK RIBS?"

"Hmmm.." Raven sighed irritably."Just hurry up and finish this pathetic fight over what you call food rights or whatever.."

"YAAAA!" the two boys howled their battle cries; the thick, spicy barbecue sauce exploded from one hose while the other spouted a graceful, flowing river of soy milk. Both liquids seemed to erupt in slow motion, as if dancing to a slow, mesmerizing tune.

The fight continued for ten minutes...

Cyborg had been furious when Beast Boy blasted him with a very huge amount of soy milk. "AAAH!" he cried, wiping the infernal "drink" off his face."That's it; TAKE THIS, YOU BOOGER!"

He pinched part of the hose's body, kinking it and causing an _enormous_ amount of BBQ sauce to build up and make it look like there was a hippo stuck in the hose. He released the hose at last:

_**BOOM!**_

There was a shriek from Beast Boy, who now looked like a miniature version of Plasmus. He tried to retaliate, but his hose's tank was empty.

"HA! Victory is mine!" Cyborg declared, blasting BB with another enormous onslaught of sauce.

"Uuughh.." Beast Boy crumpled to the ground."Uughh..uughh.. augh!" he groaned, then passed out.

Starfire gasped, horrified."Cyborg! Oh, how could you; he could be.."

She flew over to BB, brushing the sauce off his chest and putting an ear against it. She then felt for a pulse on his forearm. "Oh no! He..he.. I can't hear his-"

"What!?" Cyborg gazed at the sauce- smothered form, filled with remorse. Now thinking of his friend, and what he had done. The little green dude had been defenseless when Cy blasted him. _I'm a monster! _he thought. _A cold- blooded monster!_ "I.. BEAST BOY!" he ran over to him and shook him. "C'mon... COME ON!"

Starfire, almost whimpering, suggested," Wait! I've seen what they do on the TV to save one's life!"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Wha-?"

She inhaled so much air that her chest almost resembled an air bag during a car crash. She pried open Beast Boy's mouth and pinched his nostrils shut, then breathed into his mouth.

Cyborg realized what she meant and helped out, pushing down on BB's chest whenever Star pulled away to inhale again.

That blast must've really sent the changeling into quite a bit of a shock. And _darn_ the sauce's scarlet hue; it almost looked like Beast Boy was a victim of mur-

_No! Do not even think about it!_

At last, green eyes shot open and Beast Boy jerked up, coughed a bucketful of barbecue sauce up, and yelled,"Duuuuuude!"

"BB!" Cyborg cried ecstatically, hugging the semi- sauce blob that was the mentioned green Titan."I'm sorry, man; I never knew stupidity could take me this far. I'm glad you're alright!"

"Hey.." Beast Boy consoled, "I was an idiot, too, like I am all the time. I'm sorry, Cy. I won't try this again!"

"Good, 'cause for a second I thought I was gonna lose one of my friends for good!"

"Nah, it's gonna take more than that to wipe me out," Beast Boy said in a jokingly calm tone and then raising his eyebrows playfully."So, truce?"

"Truce!" Cyborg more- than- happily agreed, shaking hands with the changeling. "Oops, I forgot to free Robin and Raven!" he recalled. He undid the rope binding the two caped heroes.

"I'm glad everything's cool with you guys again," Robin praised them, wearing a proud smile."But now you have a mess to clean up.."

"Oh yeah," Cyborg awkwardly acknowledged their surroundings.

Suddenly they all heard the alarm blaring and rushed into the common room.

* * *

"Gizmo's at it again," Robin announced as he scoured the statistics on the common room's giant television screen.

"What's he doing this time?" Beast Boy asked.

"Robbing the ice cream parlor."

"What!? How _dare _he! That's the only ice cream place that has soy ingredients available!"

"Well, Gizmo's tech- I've noticed- seems poorly protected against little things lately. Especially liquids.." Cyborg pondered. A light bulb illuminated his mind."You want that mess off the roof, eh, Robin? Well, I know just how we can put that mess to good use!"

* * *

"Alright, snot- muffer!" Gizmo screeched at the guy behind the ice cream counter, " give me every flavor you own or else I'll take apart this whole place!"

He had lost the hot dog eating contest to Mammoth and, in his state of sore- loser depression, wanted some ice cream. And he was _not_ in the mood to pay. Nor was he ever.

"Not so fast, Gizmo!"

He turned around only to be greeted by a wet mixture of red and white flying into his face.

_Splash!_

"HEY!"

* * *

The Teen Titans stood in the middle of the parlor and were facing Gizmo. Cyborg and Beast Boy each clutched the end of water hose that was linked to two tanks sitting outside.

"Think you'll be the one to squirt this ' snot head' the most?" BB mock- challenged Cyborg.

"Yeah," Cyborg grinned, "let's show this clueless weenie the true extent of our power!"

Poor Gizmo was assaulted by waves and waves of barbecue sauce and soy milk. "AAAAHHH! You ruined my tech!Why... you-!"

Gizmo ran but was caught by Cyborg.

The man in charge of the counter wasn't too pleased at the state of the room, but was grateful for Gizmo's capture and thanked the Titans with free ice cream.

Robin turned to his two friends that had saved the day... er, _ice cream _rather. "Once again: great work!"

"It's barely a challenge," Cy and BB said casually in unison.

Robin smiled and shook his head, while Starfire giggled happily and Raven shrugged, a possible smile playing on her lips.

* * *

**Wow, took me long enough to get this up. I've been SO tired.  
**

**NOTE: I know Private H.I.V.E isn't really part of the HIVE FIVE. I just threw him in there to hitch a ride with the official team.**

**Also, thanks to fanfictionlover228 for the review :D**


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